Grieving at New Year

Helping a loved one grieve at New Year: How can we navigate the grieving process and open ourselves up to the magic that Christmas and New Year's Eve are supposed to bring?

First of all - opening oneself up to happiness during grieving is a hard process. Grieving is usually a very painful and challenging time for those grieving for loved ones, as well as friends and family who support them. The extended loved ones may feel guilty because they are experiencing happiness when they should be grieving, or maybe they feel like their loved one would want them to experience joy despite their grief, so they do not know what the right thing to do is.

There are no set rules about how someone grieves after losing somebody significant in their lives at this season, nor what others should do in order to support grieving people. Everybody grieves differently, and a grieving person may be grieving a little bit at a time or grieving for an extended period of time.

The best thing the grieving loved one can do is to take care of themselves and their own needs by being patient with their own grieving process. The grieving person usually has come up against many emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, loneliness, and disbelief concerning what is going on. In addition, it is also possible that they have been experiencing physical changes brought about by the stress involved in grieving such as sleeping problems or lack thereof, crying episodes, etc.

Ways to support your loved one through grief.

In light of this some guidelines can help you support a grieving friend or family member:

·          Let the grieving person talk about their feelings freely and do not avoid talking about the loved one they have lost. Often people avoid talking about them in order to not upset the person grieving, however most of the time they want to talk about them.

·          Let them feel how they feel. If they wish to celebrate Christmas and New Year then allow them to and if they would rather forget it altogether because it is too painful then accept this also.

·          Don't be judgmental or offer advice unless it was asked for. Everybody grieves differently and can also behave differently from how we would usually expect during this process. Try to be understanding.

·          Help out in any way you can with regards to cooking them meals, paying bills, assisting with funeral arrangements, and helping to get affairs in order.

Will they ever feel happy again?

According to research someone who is grieving is able to open themselves up to happiness again provided that they are being accepted by their loved ones, and allowed freedom in regards to grieving even if it means bursting out in tears while decorating Christmas cookies with Grandma, or staying away from family functions because grieving is still too painful at this time. Often enough grieving people who experience love and support through grieving feel like they will be able to cope with grieving better in the future too.

When grieving people are allowed to grieve freely, it is possible for them to get back into their lives again after grieving has subsided. This time length is different for everybody. The grieving process may even include spontaneous moments of happiness which does not mean that one is forgetting the loved ones who passed away, nor that they did not love their loved ones enough - it just means that life goes on and grieving becomes easier when coping mechanisms are developed through support from friends and family.

The most important thing to remember while supporting a grieving person is that support always matters - no matter what.  Be kind, be patient and be understanding.

Support is out there

If you feel like yourself or your loved one are struggling particularly worse than usual and feel that you require further support there is further support out there.

Speaking to your GP in the first instance is always a great start or you can contact Cruse Bereavement on 0808 808 1677.

For a special way to bring a little comfort after the loss of a loved one please check out our memorial jewellery and memorial gift ranges online.