Grief and Loss: Gill's Experience
Grief and Loss: Gill's Experience
In this weeks blog post I will be sharing Gill's experience with the recent passing of her wonderful dad. I first met Gill a few months ago and not only is she a wonderful, kind and supportive Woman and Business Owner but she is a strong person which is evident in her story below. I will add a paragraph underneath Gill's story so that you can find out more about Gill's amazing business, along with how to contact her.
The majority of my customers have recently lost a loved one or are remembering a loved one and so I wanted to share blog posts that will help you and support you, rather than blogging about my products. This is the first blog post of many more to come and I hope that Gill's story will relate to you and help you in some way.
"When my Dad died aged 89, he had been ill with Parkinson's Disease for so long that I couldn't remember him being 'normal'. It was due to my Mum's care and family support that he lived as long as he did. When he peacefully passed away it was a relief for me, he didn't suffer and it was a 'good' death, in that the close family were with him and we were able to hold his hand and say our goodbyes. I'd like to think that his spirit knew we were there before he left.
Initially it wasn't about me. Mum had to be supported and paperwork and funeral arrangements had to be made. I in my 63 years had never been in a Funeral Director's before. Going there as a family group helped us all I think, although it was tense. Mum was asked to choose a coffin from a brochure which she did. The staff member there was very easy to be with and empathetic. Mum found it hard to concentrate and I felt for her. I remember it was to have blue satin interior because Dad's favourite colour was blue. There was a lot to do and this was a first, I had never been involved in arranging a funeral before.
I felt a numbness but had been grieving for Dad for many years, bit by bit, as he deteriorated, and I knew my own grief wasn't as intense as if he had died suddenly. Having a recommended Florist visit the family together at Mum's was easier to manage than visiting a shop. Mum had specific wishes for the flowers which the florist was able to accommodate, this was difficult because each family member had different ideas on what was important to them, but Mum's wishes had to come first. My son surprised me by stepping up and offering to drive me around, just knowing he had offered to do that made me feel supported. My husband also made time to talk about everything that was happening, day by day. My two daughters were there for me too. So too were friends and business acquaintances. I didn't feel very emotional. I know I'm strong initially when something difficult happens in life, it's only later on that the impact hits me.
We had ten days until the funeral. Everything had to be arranged and as a family we wanted to give Dad the best 'send off', celebrate all the 'highs' in his life and what he achieved, despite a bad start in childhood. When we discussed what the 'eulogy' would consist of with the funeral professional, we talked in detail about Dad's life from birth to now. I learned things I hadn't known before and were reminded of events I had long forgotten. In my head I scoured my own memories of being with Dad in childhood, teenage, twenties and beyond. The good times and the bad. I guess this happens to everyone. The worst feeling for me was not being able to access a happy memory in the recent past where I had felt 'connected' to Dad. For the last year of his life Dad was bedridden and had dementia, and had to be cared for in a residential home. Visits were strained because Dad's speech had deteriorated and what he expressed often didn't make sense. And for other reasons connected with his personal situation. He had lost his dignity. I would tell him about my life and people in it. He did know me and I think did understand me but I'm not sure. He was cheerful and smiled always. I'm grateful for that. I used to try and joke with him.
Going back more than 4 years, he became bedridden at the same time as I became a grandparent for the first time. I was completely split about supporting my Mum with immense stress of caring for a disabled person and supporting my daughter who had just given birth and needed me around a lot for different reasons. The day my grandson was born was just about one of the happiest in my life, versus the day Dad came home bedridden was one of the worst. Mum has coped better than I thought she would with his passing. Such a strong lady, I hope I will be like her at age 88.
As I sit writing this the tears are streaming down my face, I'm just reacting normally to grief, change and pain. It's part of life, birth and death. But just because death happens to all of us, we still need time to accept, move on and still get on with our lives. I'm self employed with a small business (selling magnetic jewellery which can be good for your health) and I'm also a 121 swimming instructor. I have to stay on the wheel in order to generate income. If I stop, nothing happens! If I cancel events or clients I lose the monies I've paid to be there and I earn nothing. And the time I spent finding and booking that event or finding that client is wasted. Life throws us challenges which we can take on or not. My best suggestion to anyone going through the same thing is, give yourself time to process what has happened. Emotions may not surface immediately. Put the feelings in a mental 'box' and let them out when you are quiet,write down how you feel or gain support from a health professional.
I have a great passion for life, just like my Dad...and I still have unknown adventures ahead of me...bring it on"
About Gill Clark:
Gill is a direct retailer of the amazing 'Energetix' magnetic jewellery and wellbeing products. These products are designed to help heal and aid the body. I have purchased some of these products myself and not only are they beautiful and made from stainless steel but they contain powerful Neodymium magnets. These magnets stimulate the blood cells leading to oxygen and nutrients being passed around the body more efficently, this then releases a natural anti-inflammatory cortisol which results in the alleviation of pain and symptoms.
To find out more about these amazing products, or to contact Gill please see the website and contact details below:
Telephone: 01277659875/ 07939074836